NaruSasu Crack Chat
by Musicgirl1796
Summary: If I owned Naruto and Bleach, this is what would happen. It's quite scary. Warning: Extreme crackness, mentions of Yaoi, Mpreg, neko-ness, and I am also put in the story. Not a fanfiction! It is a chat that I had with my good friend, Byakuya-sensei.


This was the result of a chat that me and my good friend ByaRuki Luv had. I have recently been trying to get her into the Naruto anime and so we often talk about it. But when she said that her keyboard wasn't working. I offered to use Chidori on it, and it went from there. I started claiming that Naruto taught me Fuuton: Rasen Shuriken and I used it on an innocent electronic device and then I just started mumbling...

There are a lot of things wrong with this. One of them being that this is so messed up that you might lose a couple brain cells reading it. Also, you are not going to understand if you don't know the basics about the Bleach and Naruto cannon. There are also some warnings that I have to give.

WARNING: CRACK FIC, mentions of Yaoi (SasuNaru and KakaIru), SasuNaru Mpreg, and also, I have written myself in this.

THIS IS NOT A FANFICTION. This is a chat that I had with a friend that I am posting on FF because it is hilarious and all Naruto and Bleach fans should enjoy it.

I said all of this. My poor friend, ByaRuki Luv had to sit there and read my mumbles.

I have a Rinnegan in one eye.

A Fumetsu Sharingan in the other.

And a Byakugan in the back of my head!

Also, Naruto said that I can have the Kyuubi after him.

The nine-tails

WHICH IS AWESOMEEEEEE BECAUSE I TOTALLY LOVE THE KYUUBI!

His powers are super cool too!

OH YES! THE RASENGAN! I KNOW RASENGAN!

And I taught this here cat *show ByaRuki Luv a picture of a small cat doing the rasengan *

Then the cat hits Sakura with it's Rasengan!

Then Sasuke and Naruto celebrate her death by doing THIS * shows ByaRuki Luv a picture of Sasuke and Naruto making out *

Then I am adopted my the Kuchiki clan

and have a zanpakuto that is like the exact mixture of Senbonzakura and Sode no Shiryuki

then I become best friends with Sasuke and Naruto and they invite me over and I ask them personal details about their love live and write numerous fanfictions on it

Which prompt me to become famous and my big brother Byakuya tells me he is proud of me.

Then I marry Neji.

Because Sasuke and Naruto are taken and Neji is my third choice.

And Bya, Rukes, Sasu, Naru, and Mai all come to my wedding

and Sasu and Naru make lemonade in the back room and I video tape it and watch it over and over again.

And Neji screams at me that he wants a divorce and goes and marries Tenten

And then I use my zanpakuto to bankai Tenten's ass.

But then we become best friends because i like her character

and we plot to kill Ino and Hinata

Which we do.

Then Naruto becomes Hokage

and Sasuke becomes his personal bitch and is the Hokage's assistant

and Byakuya and Mai get married and Rukia becomes my little sister

then I marry Grimmjow.

But he dumps me for Ichi. But Ichi is with Ren, so he comes back to me.

and we have multiple Grimmjow/Musicgirl1796 babies that all become ninja

and become ANBU members for the Hokage, Naruto

and then again, because I feel like it,

Sasuke and Naruto have hot office lemonade in the Hokage Office and I video tape.

Hehe.

Grimmjow gets mad but then I let him watch it and he doesn't blame me

then I become a Captain of the Gotei 13

and my big brother Byakuya helps me out and Grimmjow becomes a Jonin like Kakashi

( did I mention that I am bouncing up and down while writing this? )

So then!

I awaken all my doujutsu!

Like the sharingan, the Byakugan, and the Rinnegan

and I ask my best buddy Sasuke to train me

which he does.

And even though I secretly love Sasuke, I respect Naruto and his relationship.

Then then then then then

I play Go with my friend Shikamaru who secretly has the hots for Unohana.

But Ukitake comes and Bankai's Shikamaru and that's the end of that.

And then I decree Rangiku as a Ninja because she is too awesome to become a captain, so I make her an ANBU

Did I mention that I really love the ANBU? I think they are kick ass and have hot uniforms

Anywayzzzz,

With Rangiku as an ANBU

she needs an ANBU partner, so I revive Gin from the dead

and give him a cute silver fox mask

(meaning I made him an ANBU too)

Then I fire Komomura because dogs aren't meant for the Gotei 13

and I release him out into the wild like he has always wanted!

HE ONLY WANTED FREEEDOM PEOPLE!

FREEEEEDOM

NOT JUSTICE!

So I make him Sasu and Naru's pet

That's freedom enough

OH YES

NARU GROWS NEKO EARS AND NINE NEKO TAILS

AND THAT TURNS HIM PART NEKO AND NEKOS ARE ABLE TO HAVE KITS

SO SASU AND NARU HAVE MANY MANY MANY UCHIHA BABIES

AND I ADOPT ONE BECAUSE THEY DONT NEED ALL OF THEM!

SELFISH!

So I get myself an Uchiha baby

and I raise him like my own son

Then I teach him Chidori and turn him exactly into Sasuke

Lol.

Then, I figured out that Byakuya and Mai were having Kuchiki babies

and one of them was JUST like Naruto (don't ask me how, this is my dream)

AND THEY GROW UP AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE UCHIHA/KUCHIKI BABIES

COMMENCE SQUELING FANGIRLS

SO THE UCHIHA/KUCHIKI BABIES GROW UP TO BE STUD MUFFINS

AND ME AND GRIMMJOW OWN CHILDREN ARE ALSO SUPER ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE AFTERALL THEY ARE MINE AND GRIMMYS KIDS

ANYWHO!

SO ONE OF MY LITTLE GIRLS MARRIES A KUCHIKI/UCHIHA KID

AND THEN THEY HAVE CHILDREN

AND MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET BECAUSE THEY HAVE MINE, GRIMMYS, SASU'S (ITACHI'S TOO BECAUSE SASU AND ITACHI ARE RELATED), NARU'S (MINATO'S!), BYAKUYAS (SOJUN'S) AND MAIS TOO!

BLOOD IN THEM

MAKING THEM HAVE THE BEST DAMN DNA EVER

So half of my grandkids become Ninjas

(ANBU)

and the other half become Gotei 13

(Captains)

THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN HN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN THEN

NARUTO STEPS DOWN FROM THE POSITION OF HOKAGE AND GIVES IT TO MEEEEE

AND I BECOME HOKAGE AND I ORDER KAKASHI TO MAKE OUT WITH IRUKA BECAUE I CAN

THEN I MAKE ITACHI BECOME MY BITCH AND DO ALL MY HOKAGE WORK AS I GET MY BEAUTIFUL FACE CARVED ON A GIANT ROCK

-The end-

MAGICAL!


End file.
